OK. I'll admit I did not read this whole thread, but the "it's a girl" title caught my attention.
When we found out we were having a girl, I was dissapointed. Now...I would not change a thing!!! I LOVE my daughter. She is the most wonderful thing in the world.
I wanted a son, but having my daughter run up to me and say "daddy"....Damn....priceless.
wow...you are one strong woman....forgiving takes strength...
I have a friend....she has been my strong supporter in my reconciling with my H....her husband left her with a toddler....he got involved with an OW...OW got pregnant...he returns to his wife when his child with OW is about 2 yrs. old....child was named after him....gets joint custody.....wife gets pregnant with twin boys...she is a good step-mom....treats OW's son as one of her own and loves him like one of her own when he is with them...
They have now been back together for over 10 yrs.....H is totally in love with her....he did have a second OW during the time he was gone but she has forgiven him all his past misdeeds and they have such a nice family...very loving relationship...
So there is hope even if the OW has a child by H....it is hard but not impossible...
OMG....I can so relate to the kidney stone...and yes I do think it is TUMS!!!...I ate them like candy because the doctor said they were good for me....and I had a kidney stone just a few months after having my baby....it took me over a month to pass it and it was way way way worse than any pain I have ever felt in my life....
And there was a comment made about mothering the child of OW....and not holding resentment...since my H used no BC this was something that I was prepared for....didn't have to face it....but I felt the same...I love my H...I would love his child too, even if I didn't give birth to it....
I have a question....how did you find out she had the baby...I am curious because there is a slim chance that my H's OW could have had a baby from their time together...he said once that she told him she wouldn't notify him if she was pregnant...then later he said he thought she would have...just a few months after they last saw each other she was involved with someone else...makes me wonder if she was pregnant...
So how would I search this...she lives/lived in Seattle, WA
Hey, guys. Sorry I took another short break. Between working from home and taking care of the baby and all the other members of my beautiful family, well, I seem to lose myself in the shuffle.
Things are okay. Actually, let's face it: They kinda suck. But they could be worse.
imLIN, I found out by searching birth records in the county where I knew OW was planning to deliver. I had found the baby's name on a gift registry at a popular retail store, then just searched that name. In your case, if you know OW's name, you could search birth records by her name in the county in which the baby was supposedly born. It's actually not that difficult to do.
Days become increasingly more confusing in re: to OW and her baby. We started paperwork to determine paternity, and she was in touch with us through her county's department of social services. She's coming after child support, even before paternity and custody are determined. She is seeking government assistance for the baby's health insurance, but H plans to put the baby on his insurance.
It's weird. H speculated that one of the reasons he left me is because she is so much more materialistic than me and is money-hungry, kinda like he "wants" to be. He said she has loads of money, and her dad is loaded. She actually hid $100K of her money when my H told her I was planning to sue her for alienation of affection. I guess OW was dumb enough to let H know she hid her money. Now, she's playing poor, presumably so she can milk H for everything he's worth.
There's a part of me that knows he deserves that; he had it coming. But then there's me and my family, and she's intending to send us through the sh1t, too.
Our atty is prepared to file for full custody on our behalf. He sent her a letter recently, giving her a couple choices, including allowing H to relinquish his paternal rights. But she chose not to pursue that, and I can't say I blame her. However, I'm on this side, and I know she's not going to like the alternative.
I've decided that once this is over, I'm going to do some research on paternal rights and become some sort of advocate for fathers who want to take an active part in their children's lives ... but who seem to be shut out by the judicial system.
In addition to my sitch, a male friend of mine is going through a terrible time with his GF, who is preggo. She doesn't want him to have anything to do with her or the baby, and he is dead-set on being an *extremely* active father. What's going to happen there? Their circumstance is different than the one H is in, but it still boils down to the fact that the father has to prove himself fit in court, and the mother is simply deemed "naturally" fit since she carried the child.
That's not always how it works.
I've never been on this side of the sitch. My girls' dad clearly stated he didn't want the girls -- that I could "have" them -- and he was still granted basic visitation with them simply for paying child support. From the sound of things as I'm hearing them, a father wanting a part in his child's life will end up with the same deal. He'll fight for time with his child and still only get basic visitation. That's not fair.
I'll let you know as things progress in coming months. Things are certainly starting to heat up around here a little. In the meantime, Little Man and I are hangin' out in the shade, plump and happy.
Can you believe he's almost 4 months old already?? Sheesh! Where does time go?
