Quote: .. that it was a distraction for him from our mess...which is what explains the 'addictive' type of behavior or spouses do when in the A (constantly calling, checking emails, etc) more so than when they were with us. When they fell in love with us, life was balanced and happy and whole, so no need to go overboard with reaching out....but in the A, it's a product of feeling miserable in part of your life and shutting that out, so you're reaching out overly so, to distract yourself, do dull the pain/ugliness of life.
I really need to hear things like this, I'm just getting over disecting everything I now of my H's EA with OW, it drove me crazy to think of all the details I found out, made myself sick thinking of them. And indeed, as I put 2 and 2 together, when he was w/her I remember him being totally miserable with himself and totally lost, didnt' know what to do with himself. When confronted w/ a letter I found he told me he still can't believe he let it happen and that he can't believe he let himself go that way.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
