Someone that was 'crazy' about him, and just knowing that was really nice for him.
Yup, that's exactly what my H told me. OW complimented him -- said *all* the right things -- and I had apparently long gotten out of the habit of thanking him for the little things: taking out the trash, mowing the grass, fixing the sink, changing the oil in my car. I grew to expect those things, just as he grew to expect a clean house, paid bills and a warm meal every day. It's certainly amazing what we take for granted. And when we actually "re-start" complimenting our Ss for their hard work and help, it *must* come off a little strange, since we had stopped for so long. But eventually, they get used to it, and of course they like it, so compliments don't seem so "forced" anymore.
And ya know, compliments are sort of like smiles and yawns. They're usually returned.
it was a distraction for him from our mess...which is what explains the 'addictive' type of behavior or spouses do when in the A (constantly calling, checking emails, etc) more so than when they were with us
Hmmmm...*very* interesting. My H *hated* his cell phone before he left (as he does now that he's back home). You can imagine my surprise when, while he was away, I checked his cell phone records and found that his monthly bill had jumped from $50/month to nearly $300/month. He was having 117-minute conversations with OW, and talked to her 13 times in one day!!!
I never could figure that out, but look! You go and make sense of it! *Very* interesting; I had never thought of it that way.
Phoenix!!
I might see if this gets something going with my wife.
You made my day; so glad you're gonna give it a try! Make sure you report back on how things work. I absolutely love the LL theory; I think that book should be mandatory reading for all marrying couples. Heck, I think everybody in the world should read it.
