I agree with you on much of this, Ellie. Perhaps this is an instance of my vision being very blurred by being so emotionally tied to the sitch. This is the first time I've been able to see such a sitch from the male's perspective, and while I realize my H -- and men like him -- are just as at fault as the women, I still see that the women totally have the upperhand because they have *all* the control once the child is conceived. How different people feel about that is sure to be a point of debate. I thought I felt one way -- and I think I still do -- but I certainly will be a little more sensitive to the male's perspective in the future.
I knew a girl who had full intentions of "tricking" a man into getting her preggo. All she wanted was a baby, and she confided in my sister that she was going to tell a virtual stranger that she was on birth control, but her intent was to have a baby; she was in her late 20s and hadn't found a "suitable" father, and she felt time was "running out."
Yes, the guy was stupid, and yes, all men should know that BC fails -- my H is certainly not innocent in this sitch -- but the women, I'm sure you agree, are no saints, either.
If they want a baby, they need to tell the men that that's all they want. Then maybe they can reach a written agreement about custody, etc. of the baby before the baby's even conceived. Obviously I'm being a little sarcastic ...
Anyway, we'll see what happens. Thanks for keeping me in check.
