Hey, Ellie. Thanks as always for stopping in. I do, however, have a couple concerns which stem from your comments (which, btw, echo what a couple people around here have said as well).
I guess my first concern is society's stronghold on notions of which parent should be the one to raise a child and which should solely provide financial support.
OW has two children of her own, who were conceived in marriage. What would make the child she's carrying -- ASSuming she is carrying one -- feel any more loved with *her* and her children than with us and *our* children? What makes her, as a mother, a better caregiver than my H, as a father?
And why is it that folks keep saying that my H needs to live up to his "financial responsibility?" How about his responsibility to be a present parent?
Forgive me for sounding a little testy, but I guess I don't fall in the category of those who believe that in a broken partnership, the mother should raise the child while the absent father is left with only the financial burden.
I dunno. Maybe I'm behind the times, but I'm not willing to pay for a child who I don't have a hand in rearing. And this is wherein the problem lies. At the end of the day, I, along with my H, *will* be financially responsible for OW's child, because my income counts in my family. And it's not fair that I have to pay for their mistake while I sit idly by and let a woman who didn't give a second thought about ruining *my* family and taking away the father of *my* children call all the shots while we just suck things up and financially pay for it.
Maybe that's not politically correct either, but it's how I feel. My H is just as much a part of her baby as she is, and thus has just as much right to her as she does, and no one should write him off and say he should just simply be financially responsible for a life he created. He should be a lot more than financially responsible for her, IMHO.
