I thought I'd add my two cents here. Since my h never asked me to marry him in the first place (he did but then backpedalled for two years until I pushed it), I would be totally thrilled if mine were to suggest it. BUT, and this is a big but, he's not going to do that. SO, I have to let go of any kind of fairytale endings. Because it's just that. Renewing vows is not going to wipe away my three years of pain and make everything better and go away, although in some ways I might be tempted to think that way. We've all been cheated of a lot of time, and a lot of emotional energy, that has been spent by our spouses on other people. We feel we want that to be given back to us; it can't happen unfortunately.
So, I would caution you with holding on to a hope that renewed wedding vows will be an end in itself, when the marital work is on-going.
[This message has been edited by AlexN (edited 05-12-2001).]
