I plan to ask my W to marry me again at some point. Not sure when. I don't want to get hung up on that as an excuse to not communicate with my W as to how important the relationship is to me and to her. I try to show my W how important it and she is on an almost daily basis. Now-a-days W also makes an effort to show appreciation for me and our relationship. Does she do it on the same frequency? No way. I don't get hung up on that anymore as I realize it is my fear that motivates me to some degree.
I urge you to let your H's know that you have need for occasional reinforcement that they are happy with the general direction the R is going. Let them establish the frequency and the method of communicating. Some may only verbalize this stuff on rare special occasions. They may think they are showing their love in their actions. Sometimes the actions may not be obvious to you. Ask them to be a little more obvious.
Example, I leave for work very early in the AM. Sometimes I sit next to W in bed and rub her feet while she sleeps. Sometimes she recognizes it and wakes slightly. Most times, she never sees it. The bottom line is I am thinking of her and I am doing something that I want to do wether she notices or not. The same dynamic may be happening for you at home. Try to notice the little things.
