Lead, follow, or get the heck out of the way!!

Not much time to post, just wanted to let everyone know things are cool. C session went well, I "appreciated" to W about the way she is with people, so kind, open-hearted, caring, and forgiving. Told her that a part of me wishes that I was like that, but I'm not. I see things differently, have less compassion for people who have burned me. She started tweaking about me taking the letters, invading her privacy. I sincerely apologized, what I did was truly wrong. Anyway, I got around to the points about me thinking differently about the definition of "strength", how I wanted to put the past behind me and move forward without the "darker elements of society" coming back around. That it wasn't about her, wasn't about OR, but it was about me, and what I would accept for my life. That I would do whatever it took to make these things happen. I made it all about me, not about her. I almost sensed a certain amount of relief in her after this.

She withdrew a bit. She had to go to work, but wanted to talk later. We did a little, and things were cool. She drew closer, hugs and hand-holding. Said how awful it must be for me to go through all this. That she was sorry. That she truly does love me.

The "freedom" (not sure if that's really quite the right term) I gave her at first worked well to draw her back. It seems that what works for the short-term may not always work well forever. It seems she's tired of all the responsibility of doing things the way she wants, is overwhelmed, and is wanting the stability and strength I have to offer. Matters not, I guess this falls more into the category of taking care of yourself first, and the R will fall into place.

I DO tend to think too much at times, I guess. And I DO tend to get long-winded, take too long to get to my point. I often lose and confuse my W when I'm talking to her. I'm sure you've never noticed this about me in the length of my posts, right?! Something else for me to work on!

Have a great weekend, y'all!!


JJ

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