Hey gang! Wow, quite a new look to the board! We'll see how we all adapt to the changes!

Things are going ok, W seems to be drawing back a little closer. It seems the things I talked about at the last C session broke things out of the limbo that we were in, may have shook her up just a bit. Doing something different every once in a while, right?!

It was kinda funny/ironic/strange on my night out last week. She sent me a couple of text messages while I was out, and was worried about my condition when it came to driving home. She thought I may have had too much to drink (which I didn't), wanted me to either get a ride or stay at a friend's house. She wrote "Don't make me stay up all nite worrying about you!". I found this rather humorous myself, things are a little different when the shoe's on the other foot!

Weekend went ok. She had a reality-check on some of her legal issues Friday, which slapped her pretty hard in the face. I took S to a movie Friday nite, getting both him and me away from the house. She wrote to me while I was in the movie that she was lonely for me, was sad in her heart. That she felt she needs me, she knows she's selfish, and she truly loves me. Please hurry home. She was kind of a mess this weekend, so I went and picked up some old movies, and we just sat around and I comforted her. She was very appreciative of that. I treated her a little different than I usually would have during these times, I didn't try to "help" her through it, I was just there for her. Tried to not treat her any different than I would have during a "good" time. Seemed to work pretty well.

Monday night was a big blow-out with step-D, and I pretty much stayed out of it. She was going psycho, literally, and W handled it very, very well. She changed the usual steps of her dance, which totally blow away step-D. D tried her best to get everyone else in the house wrapped up in the drama, and it didn't work. I let W know how great I thought she did that night.

Tuesday was a C session, originally set up just for me, but I invited W along to go over what happened the night before. I again praised her for how she acted, and how she didn't react, and so did the C. W left shortly, she didn't want to interrupt MY session time. She asked me later how it went, and I stayed pretty vague in my answers.

C and I talked about how I was doing, how I was handling things. We talked about some of what W's going through, how she is, and how she is like D in many ways. Tendencies towards borderline personality. Very cyclic in her moods and reactions. C wants me to very noticeable of the fine line distinction of the cycle swings, and to not take things personal!! That W's headed towards more balance on this. C thinks I'm doing ok, noticing some of these things the way I do. As I told her, I have to find some of the fine line differences between being supportive of W and enabling her. She does think that either al-anon or a co-dependency group would be good for me.

All in all, things are going ok. W has many things to work through yet, and I see her doing just that. Not as quickly as I may wish, though, but she's doing it. She needs the space to do this, just as I needed the space before. As I told the C, it's hard to understand unless you've been there, but the time we had apart was good for me, taught me many good things. It seems W's not running quite so far away, quite so often, and is returning back a little sooner and a little stronger.

Progress, not perfection! Hope everyone's doing well.

[ September 20, 2001: Message edited by: Jamesjohn ]


JJ

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