Well, W was gone again all night last. So was step-D. Didn't really bother me that much, step-S and I had a good evening together. It's almost better for us when nobody else is around. We watched movies and talked a lot. We talked about his mom's and my personality test results, and he agreed with the descriptions. I didn't try to contact W at all, either last night or the night before. S asked this morning if mom was home yet, told him no, mom's a little overwhelmed with stuff right now, and needs a little time on her own. He seemed to agree and understand this.
I DID see her this morning. I was running about 15 minutes late, and passed her on our road. It didn't look like she was going to stop, but I did so she did. I just had my smiley face on, looked happy. Said hi, don't mean to be rude, but I'm late, gotta go, bye. I'm sure she thought I was already gone, and would be able to avoid seeing me. OH WELL!!
I've decided to give her WAY lots of space. If she's not home tonite, I may spend some time getting the spare bedroom back in shape for her. I want her to get this out of her system one way or the other. She'll either really enjoy this lifestyle and decide to keep it, or soon tire of it and remember the good things about us being together.
You're right, Heidi, it DOES get damn old, and is like raising a teenager. That was one thing the C brought up to W about her being gone all night, how does she feel when D does it. OUCH!
There was another interesting part of the C session. W was complaining about my job, how I deserved things to be better, deserved a raise, a promotion, and other stuff that was unfair. She thought I deserved better and should move on. I told her that for me, no matter how crappy things were at work, it's been one of the few sources of stability in my life, and in that part it was good for me. She did have to agree it's been good for all of us that I stayed at my job. She's so very confused, so very impulsive, seems to hate my stability, sees it as almost too confining, yet depends on me to help stabilize her life. I guess this is the part where I really need to stay out of her crap, let her do what she wants, and let her feel some of the consequences. I thought she had already worked through this, but I guess not. Or maybe she just needs to remind herself of it every now and then.
I have to find the fine line between being supportive, and enabling. Not always easy, and, again, makes me wonder sometimes if it's all worth it. The only thing at this moment that's motivating me is the progress I'm seeing with step-S. He's come a long way, and he needs some support through this mess. It's almost like we're becoming teammates in living through the dramas of both his mother and his sister. We both see what's going on, and are trying very hard to stay out of it. Wish us luck!!
[This message has been edited by Jamesjohn (edited 09-12-2001).]
JJ
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