Hey, everyone! Looks like update day for everyone, so here's mine.
It may be time to change the dance a bit. Things aren't getting much better or much worse. W draws close to me, gets scared, and backs off. Way off. The week went fairly good, but the tempo has changed the last few days. She's been MIA a few times, hasn't been where she said she was gonna be, or has just flat disappeared. I noticed the phone bill has included a couple of calls to the place where om stays occasionally. She's hooking up with a recently divorced friend who is rather loose and free. She's an old work mate that used to cover for her in the past.
Last night, she didn't come home at all. Got a text message from her about 12:30 that she was "sobering up", and that was it. Messaged her back to see if she needed a lift home, but got no reply. Today I left 1 voice mail and 2 text messages for her, and haven't heard a word. One of the messages was that I'm going to a concert tonite, and won't be home until either late tonite or tomorrow morning. I "acted-as-if" everything was ok in all my messages. Told her I love her, and asked how "Mrs. JJ" is doing today. I hope she's ok, but part of me is hoping that her head is reeling and she's miserable. As for me, tonite I drink and dance and sing and party at an outdoor concert!! It will be good for my soul.
As for a 180, I'm trying not to lay a guilt trip on her. The children will do enough of that when she gets home. They were kinda pissed she wasn't home last night. S stayed up late waiting for her, had to send him to bed. Told him this morning she had to leave early to go do some things. I hate lying to him like that, but I didn't think HE needed to know she stayed out all night.
She's a runner, hates dealing with problems. I'm not sure if she's running from me, running from the problems with D, running to the om, old friends, or what. Guess it doesn't matter, she's still running. I would expect, and hope, that she'll soon grow as weary of it as I have. One way or another. I'm still not TOTALLY convinced it's all gonna work out, but I do know that if it doesn't, I want to be able to move on with a clear conscience.
Haven't mailed the letter to om yet, felt better after just writing it. We have a C session Monday, am seriously thinking of presenting it then, say my piece, then walk out. W and the C can talk about things from there. It seems like things remain status quo at times until I set down some clear boundaries, and now may be the time. I have the weekend to think it over.
Wish me luck, hope everybody MAKES a great weekend!!
JJ
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