SS Reading your story made me cringe because I have been right where you are too. I am really starting to wonder if there is a secret order of LD wives where they all meet, eat finger sandwiches, and discuss plots to emotionally devastate their Hs. On a serious note, here are a few thoughts that might help.
Laying together and touching: The subtle approach of coming on to a LD partner is as effective as trying to clean the Brooklyn Bridge with a toothbrush. As you have seen, she simply does not have sex on her mind. Therefore, your actions will not be interpreted as intended. If you want to ML, you really just need to swallow your fear, step up, and ask for it.
Since your W suggested the touching method, then that is a blinking billboard that she wants more of a EC with you. If she is good with spooning and your touch method, then keep it up. Though, I would suggest that you drop the expectation that the touch time will lead to more. In fact, it would probably be really beneficial to regularly have these touch sessions that don’t lead to sex. It will help to build your EC and trust foundation.
Expecting to ML at the end of a touch session is also a huge trap in a way. If you go into touch time with the hope that it will lead to more, the times it does not happen are going to really feel terrible to say the least. Thus, if you guys start up a touch thing and you know up front that you really want it to go somewhere, address that need right away and come to an agreement before you start.
Hope this helps
By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. -- Socrates
