Well you guys all sound familiar. My situtaion is a little different in that we have been married 9 years and over the last few years her interest has declined. I have tried to liven things up sometimes and she responds, but if I dont start it then nothing will happen. Recently after returning from a trip, we ML two nights in a row and after the second I came upon her crying she lied as to why, but later I found out that she was having deep feelings for a celebrity. Huh? Well long story short, we had a romantic weekend away after several fights, and there it was great, but as soon as we came home, anytime we have done anythign I have had to force her, and its now causing me problems with it physically. I dont want to force her either, but I build her up which works me up and I am stuck. I am sure that our recent fights have caused her reluctance, but she also dropped the bomb that I remind her of some bad things that happened early on to her. So now I am really hosed. So the last time, I got a blatant refusal, first one ever in 9 years, when I immediately stopped touching her I got a "just get it over with"... So as I see it, she is done ML for a long time to come...it makes me think even though we have had problems getting her motivated before, that it is now due to her feelings for the fantasy man. I know she has had problems in the past, but this is not the time for her to be refusing me.
