Lillieperl: I know I should pick up the book, as you suggested. It's probably not that the book itself would depress me, but rather I find myself getting bummed when I research & read (which I have done so much of) the issues that I am experiencing. Throughout this time, I have tried so hard to remain positive so I just fear reading more will frustrate me. Even if there is a biological origin to her LD, it still seems that it will not change back and so I spiral into frustration.
NHTom: Actually, I take some comfort from your words in that I am not a jerk for considering a departure. She says she loves me and has made efforts to work on this issue. The sporadic part is the infrequency of sex. As I said she has/is trying (at least on the surface), but at the same time, we have not gotten a lot of results. Perhaps this is just the way that it is and that will not change, without laying blame at anyone's door.
You are also right that I doubt my drive will decrease anytime soon. My W and I both stay in good shape (for me this increases drive). Also my W is an extremely attractive woman, it's funny sometimes to see the double takes men do when they notice her. I am not a jealous person so I just laugh about it.
Perhaps at first, she did not take it seriously and she did say that she is fine with our situation - it's me that is not. However; over the last 1-1.5 years she has worked on it. She knows it's important and recognizes (via MC) that my expectations are not abnormal. The MC went so far as to call it a sexual disfunction, which I quickly squashed as that "label" will only cause her more aprehension.
At the end of the day, after MC, Doctors, Hormone tests, etc. the question is where do I go if it stays "status quo"? As you said, embarking on 30+ years of sexual frustration is a tough pill to swallow.
