Many thanks for the feedback, it's all helpful. Being that you have dealt with for many years without progress is definitely concerning if I apply it to my situation. I hang my hopes on my W previously having a standard to high drive, but again it sounds like your wife made that change as well and it never came back. By the way, she may need a female surgery that is said to reduce drive further...ouch.
My W has tried so that's positive. Her attempts are somewhat sporadic, but there is effort. As far as "duty" sex, I am not sure if that's what she is doing all, some or none of the time. She has not been totally forthcoming with information as well as ommitted information from discussions so I am also dealing with uncertainties even when she does discuss the issue. I will say she has tried though unfortunately without a lot of results. She has been "turned on" more lately and sometimes that ends up being something, but mostly it ends up as nothing.
I think she sees it as both our problems; i.e. her wanting none and me wanting too much (i.e. more than 1/month). Anyway, the whole scenario can be a mind twister, if you let it. We need to be sexually compatible or it is not going to work out, plain and simple...this is why we had these discussions pre-marriage. If I bring up the discussions, she get's angry. However; I am still held to the fire to provide my end.
