Wow - this sounds just like my marriage. Only mine's been going on for 9 years now... in the past we've had plenty of arguments about it but nothing improved. She's seeing a counselor every once in a while, but I'm hot even sure they discuss sex. She was given some viagra but refuses to try it. Sex during the week is out of the question, as working 6-8 hours is just too much apparently. She spends more time and gives mroe affection to the pets than to me. I could do all the housework (a favorite excuse) and still never free enough time. Even when we do manage to get to the bedroom, it's quite boring, nothing new at all. She kisses closed-mouth (like the original poster's W) and that frustrates me to no end. Make-out sessions: a distant and faded memory! She doesn't like to be touched anymore, even if I'm not trying to "get some" but just to be affectionate. The pets can lick her and lay on her though, and that's OK, whereas I can't. I've pretty mcuh given up on the whole thing - arguing about it doesn't help, and when we do she just finds more shortcomings of mine to blame her low drive on. (Like, I don't do enough housework, which I have really improved on).
We don't have kids (how could we, when we never do it).
The super frustrating part of it all is, she used to be sexually active before we were married (previous boyfriends). I'm tired of being rejected. I'm decent looking and maintain myself as if I were still dating. I haven't let myself go.
One time, a few years ago, she was willing to put out and just assumed that I was in the mood also. I thought telling her that I wasn't interested might show her how it felt to be rejected, but that didn't really help either. To be honest though, it did feel a bit good to dish it out instead of taking it all the time.
I don't think I'm asking for all that much - twice a week? And some spontaneity, instead of the "are you interested?" exchange then off to the bedroom, no foreplay, just do it and get it over with thing.
Not sure what my point is -- just saying "me too" I guess! Hope your situation works out.
