She actually has equal control in most other areas, I just do all the paperwork. I did not marry her to be a demure "yes: wife. I include her on all financial decisions or anything else of relevance; home, school, church, investments, etc. I have offered to help her start a business or go to additional schooling. She get's a business idea and then it fizzles.
At first she resisted being in on all the decisions and did not want to be involved, but now she sees the merit of being involved as I explained that she could learn a great deal and be independent should anything happen to me. Her prior marriage was to a control freak who did not include her and even hid many things. There was a lot of mind games by the EX and this continues even now over custody issues.
I suppose you are right in that she has the security with me, but I thought that was my job to provide anyway. I have still not figured out why she does not "put out". The MC is ok, but I do not see much coming out of it. She does admit to somethings there, but mostly when she is asked a question that she does not want to answer...she says "I do not know" or goes off on some answer that does not pertain to the question. Further the C does not seem to reel her in and force a response...probably because he knows that he'll get an "I don't know" answer.
Don't get me wrong by my posts, I have my faults. She has asked for changes both prior to and in MC. I have made some/most of those changes and not agreed to others (all approved by the MC).
My point I guess is that since the marriage started she has made negative changes (that were contradictory to pre-marriage behavior & agreements) and has not corrected them. Yet she asks me to make changes that were never discussed premarriage. Even so, I have made many of those changes based the "for better or worse" marriage vow.
I cannot just give up sex indefinitely and without any explantion. I have told her this. I just do not know that there is much more I can do/sacrafice. Is it time to go?????
