Ya, we tried the scheduling bit, however it makes things awkward and I do not want to have sex when she does not. This it seems would only further alienate her. We did it once when I knew she was not "into it" and it was difficult from a mental standpoint and unfulfilling.
I just do not get how there can be a ongoing mutually fulfilling sex life pre-marriage and the next day we start going 5 weeks without. Then that stretches into 2-3 month periods. The possible causes for this are worrisome. Either she was faking intimacy before or recognized shortly after getting married that she had made a mistake. She denies both, but there has to be more to this that what she is saying.
The hard part is that I just want to get the cards on the table and deal with it one way or another. But she clearly withholds information which is a major roadblock. Perhaps she is fearful of being a single mom again and this is the reason she hangs on...she also denies this.
I read someone else's post on LD woman tending to hang out with other LD woman so this get's reinforced even more. This is what is happening to me because she has mentioned talking to her friends and they feel the same way. Needless to say, it's bad enough this is all happening without her discussing it with our mutual friends. Now all the sudden I get odd looks when I see people, like I am some perv for wanting sex more than once every few months.
I am not someone who quits on people. My friends tend to call me in times of need and I always provide help and/or advice. However; in this case, where it seems all the cards are not on the table, it's pretty hard not to recognize this situation of little/no sex will not change. If that's the case, I will be unhappy.
