Kent - yes, yes, you're right. Reality check time. I've calmed down a bit since the last post.

Have to add anticipation to the equation, too. I have really not a clue what tomorrow's all gonna be about, could go in any direction. This is her show, she made the appointment, so I'll let her take the lead. Guess I'm anticipating the worst to prepare myself. Not good to do, I guess.

I see the "law of natural consequences" beginning to take affect, and am becoming a bit too impatient, too involved. Too caring? And I guess I'm feeling a bit hurt because W's not letting me emotionally support her as much as I want. I'm sure that's for the best, though, she needs to go through this on her own. I'm trying to give her things she doesn't want or need, and am getting pissed 'cuz I'm getting nothing in return. My fault.

It's just so weird that all this stuff can happen, she can do the things she does, and call me right now and tell me she loves me. She's soooo confused right now, and I'm letting myself get caught up in it, too. I guess for now I'll assume she's ignorant of how her actions affect me and OR, and not take it too personally.

W did tell me about the parenting classes she found that WE can go to that start next month. So she's thinking of US at least that far in the future.

I still feel I must address the om issue while we're with the C. That monkey needs to be off of my back. Off of OUR back if OR is to progress any farther. I still want her to write the goodbye letter to om.

You're right, too much R work. The brass ring is in sight, but still a long ways off. Have to make sure I don't fall off the horse before I get there. Just enjoy the sights while I'm on the merry-go-round. And not let myself get too dizzy and puke like that kid did that was in front of me on our third grade field trip. (Keep the sense of humor, right?!)

Thanks, bud, hanging loose.


[This message has been edited by Jamesjohn (edited 08-08-2001).]


JJ

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