On my way home last night, got a text message from W. "I love you too JJ. I'm sorry I have been so f***ed up. I get so confused…so scared! So f***ed-up! But I do know I really love you!" This kinda blew me away, didn't quite know what to write back at the time, so I didn't. Got home, ate, laid in bed with her, talked a little about the day, and fell asleep. Neither of us said anything about the message.
This morning I wrote back to her. "I'm here to listen, to lean on, to share with, to learn, to love. That's what best friends do. That's what husbands do. I love you W." When she woke up, she wrote back "Good morning--what a nice thing to wake up to..I love u !!! XO XO : )"
She called a little bit ago, some stuff going on with D she'll tell me about later. Wants me to come home early so we can go to Farmer's Market together, then go to another place and look at some plants for the yard. Says she REALLY loves me. Said it twice. The words are there, I'll keep my eyes open for more of the actions. Keep open to the positives. At least she doesn't feel comfortable with where she's at right now, realizes it's not her "happy place". We'll see what changes she decides to make. We'll see if she takes me up on my offer to be there for her, with her.
Open arms and open eyes.
JJ
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