MF - Thanks, this is the only recipe I have for me that works in these times. It seems like "how to do nothing" IS one of the hardest tasks to practice, especially if you're a fixer type person. I'm SLOOOOWY learning that things DO work out in their own time, especially without my interference. Well, maybe a little nudge now and then helps things along!

That's great about your W joining in on your vacation. Can't wait to read how things went for you. I know from experience that filling up your jar with good times together helps to make some of the bad stuff spill out the sides. Reminds me that it's something that W & I have neglected the past few weeks, haven't really done anything "fun" together. Been a lot of other family stuff going on, maybe it's time to get away for even just a few hours.

Kent - You're right, distance DOES scare her. It's something I have to do in small doses, though. It's too much of a pattern in my past behaviour, and too much of it is part of what didn't work. When I went way dark was when she hooked up with om.

I HAVE thought about the night away, just to think about stuff, and may do it very soon. Thinking just the day away might be better for me, though. To NOT think about stuff. There's an event happening the city close to us this weekend, thinking about attending it on my own with some friends. We usually plan to go to these events together, but things usually seem to fall apart at the last minute.

Thanks for reassuring me I'm not expecting too much. That's one of the big things on this board is to lower your expectations, but this is one point where I don't want to go that low. She mentions guy's pride, jealousy, and "testosterone", but it goes a little deeper than that for me. I expect marriage to be a bond between TWO people, and there's no room for outsiders. Especially former "lovers".

She's called 3 times in the past half-hour. Left 2 message just checking in. Probably should go and return her calls soon. Or maybe just see her at home.

BTW, how'd you know I called him the loser?!!!


JJ

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