Good for you, glad you got the book. It is certainly on my reading list.
My H has read SSM. It was actually a good thing for him to do. He decided that he just doesn't have the desire, that he needs the stimulation to get into it. In all actuality, after much digging, I have discovered that H DOES have desire, but he does not know how to initiate. Well, not that he doesn't know how, but that it's a turn on for him if I do. The only problem for me is knowing when the right time is. We are currently working on a more fair division of initiation.
I would really like him to read Schnarch too, with me if possible. But I have a feeling that I will just end up pointing out key areas the pertain to us and asking him to read certain things. He is pretty open minded about that kind of stuff and knows there are things we need to work on. We have gotten to the point where we ARE actively working on our M.
Regarding your W, best to approach it in a non-threatening way. Maybe you read the book first, point out some key things and suggest that she read the book or parts of it.
Have you guys talked about your R and how you are feeling. Can you give some history into your R? (Read your SSM Quiz, but it doesn't give much info...)
Quote: Often she actually reacts angrily if I bring it up again, as if to say it is just one more bit of pressure on her to be someone she is not and will never be, nor has any desire to be.
Do you now why she acts this way? Has she really never had desire or drive? Did it just change suddenly?
Quote: As I have been told before, the ones in the relationship who seek help are usually not the ones who need it.
Very true, I know I need my fair share of help!
Nicky
"There are two types of people -- those who come into a room and say, 'Well, here I am,' and those who come in and say, 'Ah, there you are.'"
Frederick Collins
