Lee & Violet - Thanks for the book suggestions. I already have Light Her Fire, have had it for quite a few years. After glancing through it again, I'm about 90% there on out-of-the-bedroom stuff. Hair-brushing, back rubs, foot rubs, shopping with her, cooking together, coffee in the morning, calling on the way home to see if she needs anything, etc., etc. I did get out of the habit, I guess, before I left, and am trying to be more aware of the "gifts of real giving". Seems like sometimes, though, when these things are done too regularly, they aren't appreciated as much. Trying to juggle with that one. Thanks for the other book suggestions, too. Will definitely look into them!!!
Kent - Thanks! I feel the same way, had to hold back my natural instincts when he came to the door, was about ready to FredG him!! He was smart enough to leave VERY quickly. W would have got his sympathy if I would have thumped him, I have several other ways to get his attention (all legal!) if the need arises.
Greg - Thanks for jumping in, haven't talked with you for a while. Still trying to follow your advice, seems to be working pretty well, don't you think? Tell me more about this "snowball effect". I think I know what you mean, and I might need some tips on how to avoid getting run over by it, if there's a possibility of that. Am still a bit cautious, but very encouraged, and thoroughly enjoying every good minute of it.
As for the knight-in-shining-armor thing, this is something I need to be cautious with, too. I did too much of this in the past, didn't work too well. Maybe it was more of a rescuer thing, I think, and it didn't do too much good for W's ego and feelings of self-worth. I think I may have done most of this with expectations of getting too much in return, which was the wrong thing to do, doesn't always happen. I had the wrong spirit to it, and the giver/taker thing got way out of balance. If you mean for me to be the one to take her along with me on a better path, to a happier place, a romantic place away from most of the crappy stuff in the world, this I'll do. She's ALWAYS loved the romance of the medieval period anyway!!
W saw OM yesterday, doesn't sound like he's taking it very well. I'm not positive, but it sounds like she may have given him the original letter she wrote, and left things kind of open-ended. I have mixed feelings about this, her actions that I see and words she is saying are showing that she really is through with him. Maybe she's still a bit confused, maybe scared of committing either way. I DO know that she is the type of person that's hesitant about hurting anybody's feelings (except mine, sometimes), and doesn't want to crush him? She's more of a rescuer than I am, very co-dependent, and feels she needs to save people. She goes for the underdog, nobody else likes him. He started getting his life back together when he was with her (?), she's worried that he's gonna screw up big time again without her. Don't know where I should take this one, probably just back-off and let things happen on their own. It just kinda sucks dealing with the fall-out after she sees him. She did tell me that she saw him, but I would have known anyway from her mood if she hadn't of told me. I want to tell her that it would be more fair to him, to us, if she made it more clear to him that things were over between them, to leave absolutely no doubt in his mind. Maybe she's still not ready for that yet, herself. I hope that someday she is. I'm pretty sure he'll be doing enough begging, whining, crying, pleading, blowing up in anger, etc., to make this happen without my intervention.
I'm looking forward to a great weekend, hope you all have one, too!!!!
JJ
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