I agree with Kent, you gotta stay outta that journal for your own sanity. Who knows what frame of mind she was in when she wrote that. She may of written it down just to get it out of her head and an hour later her thoughts and mood could have done a complete 180.
I think one hard thing about detaching when we've been doing this as long as most people on this thread is that we almost know too much in a way now. I really understand how my h is going to react or respond becuase I've learned it by watching the same thing on this board. I understand what I'm feeling too. Sometimes, for just a few seconds I wish I was blissfully ignorant again .
I was talking to a friend of mine the other day about everything that I knew my H and I were going through and what was normal and why he was acting this way and that way. And at the end of the conversation, my friend pointed out that she just heard me describing how and why everything was happening to my H, but she hadn't heard me once say "this is what I want or need." I think something clicked at that moment and I realized I was still putting way too much effort into this, so he didn't have to put any.
You're doing good. Try to relax and detach a little and don't forget about yourself in the process.
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