Kent - Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know I DO need to keep out of the journal! It was left out totally in the open, crying out my name, almost like she wanted me to see it. I shouldn't have taken the bait. It was a backslide. I will take my punishment like a man! Is it too early to start now? It must be noon somewhere!

I'm getting too wrapped up in the R, trying to help her through her other issues, and I need to take a time-out for me. I think she knows this better than I do. I plan on making tommorrow night a boy's night out. It's been a while, probably TOO long. I've been avoiding doing it, because it was a bad habit that I did too often in the past, and I let it get out of hand. Before, it was more of a way to avoid the relationship issues. Maybe now I can do it with more of an attitude of enhancing the relationship?

I think I also need to take the advice that her C gave to her, and write down 5 positive things that happen everyday. Keep track of the good things, and focus less on the bad. You're right, day by day mode. The future is too big right now, there are still issues about what's going on with the kid's, her court case, whether she's going to jail, whether she's going to move out of the state for a while (or longer), whether we keep the house, etc., etc. Much too overwhelming at this point. I can very well empathize with how confused she is.

It's hard to keep perspective on the difference between not worrying about it, letting things happen as they may, or just ignoring it. I guess it is a matter of enjoying each good time as it comes along, and truly appreciating it.

At this time, I'm not sure how much to detach, how distant to be, how disinterested to be. She does seem to be drawing closer to me, to us, daily, and I'm not sure if I should change anything at this time. If making her think that there's a chance should could lose me would draw her to focus more on OR issues, or draw her closer to OM. Or maybe to keep my patience, not be selfish, and let her work on her issues some more. As I'm writing this, I'm thinking my final thought is probably the solution for now.

Thanks for the reality-check, my friend.

[This message has been edited by Jamesjohn (edited 05-30-2001).]


JJ

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