Wow, what a journey!! Been home about 6 weeks now (funny, it's been both the longest and shortest 6 weeks of my life!). Things are progressing pretty well, my mantra being "progress, not perfection".

Never thought I'd get to this point. Just 3 months ago, I had the D papers filled out and ready to sign. Now, it's looking like W and I are into our marriage for the long haul. Being back home has given her an opportunity to see the changes I've made, without me having to tell her what they were. She ran across my collection of books I've gotten this past year, one's ranging from step-parenting, communicating, solo-partnering, on and on (still have the DB book to myself, though). She was impressed and VERY touched on how much effort I've put into making things better, and is feeling kinda bad because she hasn't done the same.

It hasn't been easy, especially the first couple of weeks, but it's getting a bit easier everyday. I was finally able to get her into a C for her anxiety and depression, and attended the first session with her, at her request. In my interview with the C, I found out she's pro-marriage, and had copies of Michele's books on her shelves. When we went to the session, I noticed she had the KLA tapes, and commented to her how I had just finished the on-line sessions here. She wasn't aware of this site, and asked me to give her the address so she could look at it, and refer some of her clients to it. DAMN RIGHT I WILL!!!

W has had her own bedroom at the other end of the house for the past 5 weeks, she has spent the past 3 nights with me in "my" room. She's calling me frequently, and can't tell me often enough that she loves me. She plans things for us to do alone together. The sexual intimacy isn't there yet, she's feeling very dirty and very guilty about the affair. She wants us to get counseling together, to get some help in working this out. I'm being understanding and sympathetic, and not placing any pressure on her about this, or anything else.

Thank you, Michele, and everyone else here for the advice and support you've given me. These techniques DO work, and you CAN "change your life and everyone in it"!!!!
Always hang in there, be patient and loving. It ain't over even AFTER it's over!!


JJ

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