One thing I can say regarding Cobra's post. Yes men and women can be friends but while yes, it may be quite possible for you Cally to have this friendship without any sexual thoughts at all, I doubt this is true for many men. Whether we act on it or not, we think about what it would be like to sleep with our female friends. I submit this is almost universal in the male universe. We know it of ourselves and we know it of other men. Therefore, when you talk of your interactions with this man that is interested in you, your H is thinking about what this man is thinking about you and probably doing a slow burn. Does that make sense? Do my ideas on this make me a neanderthal?
Gone the carvings and those who left their mark. Gone the kings and queens, now only the rats hold sway.
I don't think you are a neandrethal at all. I think you have spoken a truth that most women prefer to hide from. That truth may not be universal but I think it is close enough. The bottom line is that there is an opportunity cost to sharing intimacies and confidences with another party of the opposite sex. When we get caught up in our friendships we often lose the opportunity to share those thoughts, conversations, intimacies and confidences with our mate. To the extent that we get our male/female relational needs met outside our M, the M becomes more of about partnership and childrearing than about relationship.
I had a kind of friend at work who yes seemed very interested. I did end that friendship and do not work with anymore or see him. Then I also do have another male friend who there is no interest there. It is just a friendship.
Okay he KEEPS sticking to the story about the condoms saying he ONLY did this to piss me off. Just to prove that I snoop on him. He went out the other night with a friend and came home late. I was not happy at all. We ended up arguing and just as I thought and can feel he is so angry. It is all being directed at me.
Also cobra I don't have blinders on. I already realize I have faults and contribute. I think I have stated this. I am working hard on myself. So are you saying you think this whole condom thing is the 2x4? Now I do tend to like to be in the charge in the past. I don't know where that comes from. But that is also steadily changing. Just something I realized had to be annoying.LOL But I don't mind being told things. Or having something asked of me. I honestly would not be attracted to a spineless man. I like a man with a backbone. I am not only focusing on my needs. I am trying to work on me to be a better wife to him. I am also trying to concentrate on him and help him in any way that I can.
But I am sooooooooo confused so please explain this alpha male thing. If he had a problem with my male friend why not tell me? How am I supposed to know. And just like the other night I flat out asked him if it bothered him like I have before. He didn't answer. If it bothered him of course I would stop. If this is what he is angry about he needs to be honest with communication. Not play games. We are adults not children. Another thing he said is I am not jealous at all. I don't ever think about you having an affair. I said why not out of curiousity. He said because I don't have a warped mind.
He went out the other night with a friend and came home late. I was not happy at all. We ended up arguing and just as I thought and can feel he is so angry. It is all being directed at me.