Cally
Have you ever thought that maybe your H is looking for some sort of emotional response from you? You sound somewhat like my H to tell you the truth. Not a lot of sexual drive and very "calm." That is your own word. Are you telling me you are truly not angry after what you found out?
Surprisngly I am calm. I don;t know if you got the impression that I was raging and full of anger. But like I said I am calm and praying for him. I wrote him quite a long letter and told him I am praying for him.

Huh? That just seems like an....odd...reaction to this situation. Maybe it would do some good to let some of that anger out. Who knows, it might even increase your sex drive in the long run. You guys seem to be lacking intimacy more than anything else.