Quote: First, I'm struck by how many games you and your H play with each other. It seems a bit weird for grown adults, who've been together as long as you have, to be engaging in ways to 'catch' the other one. Why do you do this?
Not sure what you mean by this. I have never led my husband to believe I was cheating on him. Never tried to set him up to catch me doing anything. Pretty much my life may be boring to some but content to me. I am pretty much a homebody. I love to just be home with my kiddos or doing things with them. I have not played GAMES with him. I have put sweat, effort, and a lot of tears into trying to make this marriage work. And to get back the man I fell in love with.
Then you said...
Quote: Why do you want to invest your emotional energy into someone who would either A) Go out and have a grudge fling; or B) Go to the trouble of purchasing condoms to make you think he was doing the above.
Why would I? I guess because I believe in marriage. Just somewhere in my heart I believe this can work. I have to at least try. Deep down in my heart I don't believe he is having an affair. I may be wrong and have to prepare for the worst.
I have made changes in my life. Really good changes. I am working so much on myself. Maybe it scares him. Maybe he feels threatened. For so many years he was my whole world. I was SAHM and did everything and was always here. During that time I lived and breathed being a mom. I didn't have an outside life. Don't get me wrong I loved every minute of it. But even I can look at myself and see how much I have changed.
There is not always constant drama. There is also much more that holds us together besides anger. We are parents so we have the children to think of. Also if he wanted to leave he knows where the door is and how to get out. But he doesn't go. Surprisngly I am calm. I don;t know if you got the impression that I was raging and full of anger. But like I said I am calm and praying for him. I wrote him quite a long letter and told him I am praying for him.
For so many years he was my whole world. I was SAHM and did everything and was always here. During that time I lived and breathed being a mom. I didn't have an outside life. Don't get me wrong I loved every minute of it. But even I can look at myself and see how much I have changed.