I agree with Jenny. Let him pay for the charges. Transfer them to an account in his name. Discuss it with Arnold if you need to.
The reason your H gets defensive is cus he hates getting his nose rubbed in is past actions. He knows they were wrong. My W lied for the same reasons. When your spouse becomes unhappy at home, they go looking for peace and entertainment elsewhere. You need to figure out what drove your H away. It is a key element to reconciling. Don't expect him to tell you what it is either. Hell, he may not even know what it is.
Maybe you kept too tight of reins on things like finances. Maybe you worried about stuff so much that you forgot to have fun.
Naw, not BB!
Huh!
Maybe?
When was the last time you two went out and had some fun?
