Hi there, You mentioned Arnold,so I assume you are receiving counseling and that is imperative. Your H did not tell you about the extent of his expenditures,because he knew you would be angry and he really can't explain his behavior.It really is indefensible. The excessive spending on strip clubs may be a type of compulsive behavior and he needs help in dealing with this.It will continue to be a problem unless he gets treatment. In regards to paying the debt,he should be responsible,not you.Could you suggest that the two of you involve a credit counseling service and let them set up the payback,rather than you.I would avoid being seen as the savior as he will resent you for it.It all about control. Just a few thoughts...Jenny
