Something else that was right with what Dana and her H did:
Dana had her need for security fully addressed and met by her H.
Her H had an opportunity to demonstrae in action his love. Since he wants to improve the marriage and show his commitment, this must have met some of his needs also.
This is a very happy outcome when it occurs. In our case we have successfully negotiated many situations like this. However, we still have a few very important ones that we are still hammering out and that is continuing to be an extremely painful process at times. Hope we will come up with ways to manage our conflicts (or at least be convinced of each others' respect, thoughtfulness, and trustworthiness for taking our points of view into consideration).
We are about to go for a long walk and hopefully will make some progress in this direction.
