This has been an area that I've been mulling over quite a bit lately as I wonder to what extent I've been ruled by my W's issues as well. To some extent I wonder if I'm not enabling her to continue her "secret eating habits" (or lack thereof) in an effort to be there for her at every step. Again, like you GH, I wonder to what extent I was available to her in the past and now I feel like I'm there at every turn, doing a host things in reaction to what she may feel or say. I've already caught myself on several occasions subjugating my needs to appease, or even dare I say, impress, her. I have to keep evaluating whether I'm doing something because I really want to or whether I'm doing it to avoid confrontation, etc. What a battle....shouldn't relationships come with a Dummies Guide?

Other than that, I'm really saddened by your lawyer's approach to your W's DUI case. To me it seems like an open and shut, first-time offenders (at worst) situation. I don't know how things work in Florida, but here in PA, its usually an automatic thing for first-time offenders to be accepted into whats called ARD, unless there's certain circumstances. Such a shame.

I really am looking forward to hearing what your C has to say about all this.....I'll be reading your post tomorrow for an update!

"Achieve success, but without vanity; Achieve success, but without aggression; Achieve success, but without gain; Achieve success, but without force." Lao Tzu