Funny, not much more than an hour after posting that response, I got crystal clear evidence that I am full of $hit.
My just called me and said she is "not feeling well" which is her code for her thinking she's having a panic attack. I don't know if this "panic" thing is another way to create drama (actually, I know she actually DOES suffer from some kinda of real affliction) but what I do know is that she refuses to get help for it. Thus, she ends up calling me sometimes at work, or telling me "she doesn't feel well" in the morning to get me to stay with her, or come home. Now, this hasn't happened much in the recent past but used to be more of a problem. Very recently, mainly since the DUI, she has been complaining of this stuff much more and I have had to take more than a few mornings and afternoons off to help her.
I am VERY confused about whether I should be doing this. On the one hand, I feel like I should have done more of this in the past (I never used to accommodate her when she felt this way and she said it made her feel unsupported) and part of me feels like I am enabling her not to get REAL help for what her problems are.
So, just now on the phone she asked me if I was busy at work, and I said kinda, why. She said she wasn't feeling well but didn't want me to miss any more work. Again, that is her way of saying she WANTS me to come home but feels bad asking. I don't know what to do. Contrary to what I have been doing (usually trying to get home to see her), I just said I could not really leave right now and for her to let me know how she is doing. She said it would be ok but didn't sound convinced.
Again, I don't know what to do. Is this me being "ruled" by her fragility or is this me just being a good husband, supporting his W through a hard time? I need help.
