Postponing discussion until after the court case seems to be sensitive, caring, and supportive.
But please talk to your C about your own wants and needs. Continuing to subordinate them is not good for you, and, trust me, it is NOT an attractive feature to women.
Your W seems very self-absorbed. These late night phone calls and mini-dramas make me wonder if she has an active substance abuse problem. Was she drinking when she called her sister late at night?
