Oh Mama, I will but it is really hard to not get selfish right now and start asking for more. I also fight the good fight every day to not ask her about OM. I THINK he's gone for good but things have been almost TOO quiet. I don't know, I guess somehow I expect her to reassure me he's gone every once in awhile. I am looking for her to mention him or say SOMETHING but she says nothing and does nothing that looks out of the ordinary. Like I said, almost TOO quiet.
I don't really suspect anything but her phone still lives in her car. That's another thing I resist talking to her about because I don't want to be focused on that. I just want to concentrate on us, or what needs to be done with ME. Worrying about where her phone is does not help me do that. It DOES fit in with wondering about OM, something else I don't really want to do.
I think I WILL talk to her about these things when all this DUI stuff is more behind us but for now, I will just have a LITTLE trust that things are only strained as much as they are because of that and nothing else...well, nothing else like OM.
The only tiny update is that W got on the phone with her sister last night really late, like 11:30, after I had gone to bed. I could hear them talking until well past midnight about her case. Around 2:00am she came to bed, fully dressed and was angry at me for not answering her. She said she had been trying to get me to talk to her by calling be from downstairs and "why didn't I answer her?" The she just made some comments about needing me to talk to her but I was asleep and that made her mad. I was fully awake by then and tried to get her to talk but she was not having it. I told her I understood she was upset but that I didn't fall asleep on purpose, that it was late and I was tired. She didn't say much and was asleep herself in a couple minutes.
This morning was ok. I guess she just had a rough time of it last night.
I have my first IC appointment this afternoon so I should get some decent help with my issues.
