Quote: Re the *incident* -- hey, in my book, expressing some anger over the couch thing is better than nothing. WTF was she thinking? How could she treat you that way???
Well, what she was thinking was that OM's brother is in a very real way (to her anyway) responsible for her ending the affair and I think she wanted to repay him for that. That is also why she took the approach with me that it should be ok with me for us to give him the couch, because he helped "us" so much. Of course, I just can't seperate OM from OM's brother and as someone from that "sitch" in her life, I have immediate and harsh feelings, no matter how much he may have actually been the "good guy" and helped her.
Anyway, it's done now and truly in the past. We have more important things to deal with.
Quote: Anyway, I'm glad you are liking the book. I think you can think of the recommendation not to be best friends as a recommendation not to be joined at the hip and totally enmeshed. You seem to have gotten that from it as well.
This is the part that I am getting the most from. I am really starting to understanding detachment (which is what differentiation is to me) in a new way through the author's more in-depth approach to explaining it.
Quote: It might, though, help to simply acknowledge to yourself that drunk driving is not acceptable and should have significant consequences.
Actually, W and I do acknowledge this and I have said it often to her when we are discussing it. She agrees that what she did was wrong and IF she was legally drunk driving, then she would accept the punishment. She has no qualms about that. I don't judge her but I have stated many times that she could very well be guilty of the charges but as a person with only one ticket, for going 74 in a 65, in her life, it seems reasonable that there is room for giving her the benefit of the doubt. In terms of her case, the issue is that she did take a BAL test and it posted close to the legal limit but still above. Almost everyone involved with her has commented that it seemed silly for the cop to even have arrested her. Her lawyer actually got the test thrown out (don't know it that's a good thing or not). Anyway, I guess the dispute in her case is that her field sobriety test looks really good (we'll see for ourselves today) and she MAY not have been "drunk" driving. I know drinking at all is bad when you drive, but as I said way back when in my original posts about this, I really didn't think she had more than one and a half glasses before she left and that was at least an hour before she went. She is small so I'm sure it IS possible for her to have been over the limit but so too is it possible she wasn't.
There just seems to be a lot of legal wrangling going on here and I want to see if, in the eyes of the law, the evidence against her is enough to convict her. If not, maybe we let the lawyer take it to court and take our chances. Right now it's just so hard to figure out what to do.
