I have forgiven myself. I AM much better than a year ago.
I am trying REALLY hard not to walk on egg shells. My mantra, as if you couldn't tell, is "direct and honest". I want to BE that way all the time but it's tough.
Quote: Sometimes you are human and let it get to you, it slips out. That's OK. The important thing is to handle it differently.
Yep. I get this and try to understand that I will have slip-ups but I just hate them so much. I know I am wrong but as you say, it seems like one slip-up could cost me my marriage. Again, I KNOW that is wrong but it feels that way sometimes.
I think my W does have empathy for me but she just has a funny way of expressing it. When I asked her if she ever considered just giving me a hug sometimes when I seemed strssed, she said yes, but I don't think she really ever does because, well, because I don't know why.
We'll see. I am going to keep trying. It's all I can do.
Tomorrow I have made arrangments to be with my W to meet her lawyer in the DUI case. I have not been involved much to this point but she wants me to go to this meeting because we are reviewing the evidence to make a decision whether to fight the case of plead out no contest. This is a REALLY tough thing to figure out (anyone got advice?).
Anyway, sure to be a stressful night and day tomorrow. Will post when I can.
