Nothing personal monchichi, but I hope my W is not like you in that she has anotehr affair but I would love to try to help you.
Quote: I read about were usually man going astray hardly about women, you as a man please tell me how you feel?
Could you please clarify this? I don't quite understand what you are asking.
Quote: My H wants D, I know its the easy way out for both of us rather then to face the problem. GH, what is making you working hard on your marriage despite your wife's action. Please enlighten me from a man's point of view.
Well, I think my point of view, one I instantly adopted once I was able to get past the initial pain of the "bombs", is that I was CLEARLY responsible for some, if not more than my fair share of my marriage's problems. Once I decided that, I also decided that I needed help to address those issues. I immediatly went to the web. I found several sites with articles and message boards, posted to several and was dissapointed with the level of anger and "un-helpfullness" I found there. Then I found THIS site and subsequently, read DB and knew I had found the method that fit with what I already knew by then...I couldn't control my W, and I had a LOT of work to do on myself. DB was perfect for me because it gave me the tools to endure some of the pain and trials I needed to get past before I could really go to work on the task at hand.
Really, my point of view was that yes, my W was a b!tch for doing what she did but I was also an a$$ for much of my marriage and I knew that. I decided to pursue the course of action that would make ME a better man and I truly believed that if I could do that, my W would see it and decide to work on our M again...oh, and BTW, all the while the affair continued.
Quote: I am sure your W is also filled with guilt, remorse and confused. As a women's point of view she is also afraid that you may reject her one day or feel angry. But from what i read you are very patient and understanding. Women needs alot of attention and little sweet stuff, listen to her more you will know what she needs and give the right things.
You are really patient!
Thank you. I don't feel that way today (read my last monster post). Yes, I know W may feel those things and that's what I try to keep in mind most of the time. I just feel like giving her the time and space she asked for all those months ago has paid off and we are starting to get closer. It's really up to me to keep it up until she gets on board fully.
I WILL listen to her more and I WILL do better that I did this weekend.
Thank you for your support and I will try to do the same for you. Realize that most of all, YOU HAVE TO WANT to stop cheating and make your marriage work. That will be hard, much harder than just finding a new man, but I believe in the end, it can be MUCH better for all involved.
