To follow that up Mama, I think in the end, the BEST possible situation for us to end up with is that WE learn to grow and accept responsibility for ourselves and our S's do the same. Then, when we get to that place where we both have grown and seen "the light" that is our own happiness derived mostly from internal sources, we look towards each other and realize that we truly do love the other.
It's all about finally getting on the same page because we all have gone SO long without being even in the same book as our S's. I just think it's all about a parallel experience we are having with our WAS that eventually will become a single experience once again but we have to have something to bring to the table, and that's our own sense of self worth and clear understanding of what we want in all this.
