Actually, I don't recall saying I was surprised. If my post suggested that, I mis-posted. I was amused that the day I get your book (and I do think of it as YOUR book) I have this/make this happen. I was not particularly surprised it "worked" because I have always understood your basic premise to be correct, I just haven't figured out until last night (or really the past week I think) how to actually DO what you have been suggesting. As is often said here, it's one thing to know, quite another to DO.
Quote: No one is telling you to coerce or force your W into anything. Just be a strong, sexual male and take some leadership. Geez.
This is the part I am taking time to get to. I was having trouble reconciling that stuff I posted about "no means no" with the "strong sexual male" stuff and wondering how to take leadership when she claims not to want to be led.
I now understand that she isn't saying she's not ready to be led, just not led to THAT, YET. There is much more to come before THAT and it's in that respect I can start to assert myself. I think in some subconscious way, that first story in PM about Karen and Ken really did have an effect on me. It made me open my eyes to what COULD be going on in my W's head and that maybe, even without know just what to do or when to do it, I can reach out to those more intimate parts of her psyche.
I just need to continue to build my confidence (never a strong point for me) and read. Thanks again for the recommendation OT.
