Alright GH! Sounds like you're making inroads... Now back off and give her time/space.. Just go about your normal business like nothings happened. And keep us posted!
Done. I already sense that she is pulling back herself after last night and in the past I think I would have reacted to that, even the very recent past. Also, I would probably have said something this morning like "I really enjoyed that blah, blah, blah..." I said nothing and as you said, just went about the morning "as if" nothing was different about last night.
I think what is starting to happen, and PM alludes to this although again, I am not far enough into it (and don't spoil the plot for me OT, lol) to know just where it's going, is that both of us are starting to understand that we can be comfortable BEING intimate or sexual or playful around each other. One funny thing I left out (or really didn't post all of) from last night was when I lifted her shirt (again, only to reveal her stomach) and pulled her to me she said "Hey, what, you think I'm going to pimp myself out to have you go to your car for me?" I of course said "Yes." to which she just laughed and gave in to my embrace and eventual kiss. Again, this kind of non-sarcastic, non-deprecating playfulness is something I have been trying pretty hard to introduce. It's not really been work except that I have to curb my natural instinct to be sarcastic and use self-deprecating humor.
One VERY interesting thing that was also said and I can't believe I glossed over it and didn't post was something W said after the first kiss and before the second hug/kiss. Again, I touched on it last night but there was more she said. "You know the past few weeks, months have been really hard on me and I am just now, in the past couple days starting to get happy again. I just can't believe one stupid night has ruined my year and life this much. I just can't believe I would let that happen..."
Um...again, even after she said it, and 15 minutes later when I posted I don't think it registered. One stupid night? That sounds like something more than she's admitted to in the past but who knows. The fact that she said it in such a casual way, not in the context of any heavy conversation, makes me think I may have it wrong but maybe not.
Oh well, in this case, I'm taking my own advice and just enjoying the positives and am not going to dwell on the negative. Hell, I don't even think it's a negative because last night, in those few minutes of embrace, kiss and little bit of talk, I felt connected to her in ways I haven't felt in a LONG time so I guess I just look at the whole thing as a big positive step, admission of PA or not. I was just REALLY good.
I can't help but think her saying she still needs a bit more time to "get there" with us, and the way she seemed like she really WANTED to be intimate with me last night but felt guilty or like there was some barrier left (it really did feel like that when she said she "missed me". It seemed like there was an unspoken "but" at the end of that sentence). There may still be more she needs to say before she can feel like I still want to be with her when I know the full truth. Speculation for sure but I have always believed this so it's nothing new. Like I said, IF we ML and she has not admitted to $ex with OM, I will probably believe that it was only an EA. She's not THAT good a liar.
So, I will continue reading this afternoon/evening and hopefully learn some good stuff.
