If you talk to her, rather than demanding where she is and answers from her, I'd suggest that you just talk about yourself -- your perceptions, your feelings, your hopes, your frustrations.
Give. You might get something in return.
Alternatively, you could listen to the women here who have told you repeatedly to try taking charge of things. If I had felt sexually neglected for years the LAST thing I would feel like doing is coddling a guy's sexual ego to get him to step up to the plate.
Alternatively, you could even read PM before you decide what to do.
I realize the last two suggestions are likely to go nowhere. So, please, at least try the first. Talk about you and then listen to her.
