I used to be as strong as that....my basic philosophy was such that if you don't like what you see or how I am, don't look, bother with me....and, if you're gonna look-don't complain.
I recently took a personality test, similar to the Myers-Briggs one (took that years ago and also within the past year-no change...ENTJ I think....) anyway, this recent one was to do with how I feel about how others perceive me...I got a score of "1" and a "0" out of a possible "18" and "18" in the particular "I" category of how I feel about how others perceive me and if I care that they accept me or not.
So, basically, I have not changed my initial philosophy in light of finding out about A (took that test after the bomb)....but-I think it HAS altered me with regard to how H views me. The rest of the world can (still) take a flying leap; in that, if they don't like me or accept me...fine. But I have lost all of my believed self confidence where H and my marriage is concerned.
What did you do to get that back? Is it as simple as waking up and deciding that this is your life, here you are, H did something, but he's HERE with you.
Most days that seems pretty easy, but then I start to feel like my ol'self again and realize that SHE is the one H cheated on. Then comes the self-doubt.
I sure wish the roller coaster would slow down for a little while....
