How do I postpone a deadline in California? How do I get her to see where I'm coming from? How do I go from less of a caretaker role to alot more of a "husband" role? Although she is seeking individual counseling (w/ medication), I do need her to contribute more to the relationship. An impending divorce deadline doesn't help. Should I give in to her ultimatums by wearing our rings again, and moving in together before our relationship is on solid ground? she gave me these ulitimatums 2 wks after reconciliation, 1 week before her confession about a 3rd party.
Our counselor said "true forgiveness means forgetting completely." I strongly disagree. I think its important to acknowledge it for what it is, accept whats happened and include it as part of your relationship story. Forgiveness takes time. Maybe for me I'm on a slow ride to forgiveness because she's finally starting to deal with her issues on her own, not even trying to give me a clue on how to deal with her depression. I am committed to my wife, contract or no contract. But I do want to focus on the relationship first, not the deadline. She wants me to stop the divorce, and just trust her (although shes focused more on herself), or we have to move on separately. I believe I'm strong enough to work on this relationship, but definitely not strong enough to face the nightmare of filing divorce papers again. No relationship or marriage is guaranteed to last forever, but I'd rather be "married" on more solid grounds. I'm not scared of titles, commitment, or relationships but my parents were divorced from adultry, and my wife was divorced before from adultry. Why should I/couples keep moving forward (marriage, babies) while serious current issues still need work?
