I think, I am quite open about my good feelings towards him -- I am always supporting, always encoraging him, he comes when he needs to vent or seeks ancouragement, or has problems to think about together.
But when he decides to "disappear"... I immediately remember that he "wanted to be alone" and don't remind about myself. Sometimes I would, but if there is no follow -up, what can I do?
..unfortunately, I AM crying all the time, every day -- when he moves into "being alone" state. I forget all those baby steps, I forget all the "memingful" things he said...
I so much want him to know what it is for me, this single life -- and I kow I will never tell him because how I feel is my responsibility, and he doesn't need to know the expenses of keeping the smile on my face.
The most difficult task for me -- to show my weakness without being perceived as being weak. I know some women who do it brilliantly: she is not just a martyr, she is weak and suffering, but "she never shows it!", and she is struggling, she is so weak and so strong! Men buy it, I've seen many -- I wish I could learn the technique
