Sorry I didn't write you back sooner especially since some of this really got me thinking. You write that some of what you're reporting is info from years ago. Now take this with a grain of salt because I don't know a lot about your story...but...While I appreciate that you don't want to cry all the time, occasionally letting it all hang out is what even a friendship is about. How sad it would be if not opening up about your loving, genuinely concerned about him as a friend, feelings is keeping you apart. You are right that it's how you say it--not what you say.
About Retrouvaille, last plug. I promise . It is about authentically telling each other your feelings in a nonthreatening way. It my not something your H is willing to do but you never know...Lately heard about a trial lawyer who talked for 45 minutes at a weekend about how he was convinced that the weekend wouldn't help at all and was he ever surprised! Then his wife got up and talked 35 minutes about how significant it was that he was relating all that. My H is a research physician and an atheist--he loves it. OK, that's all from me on that topic.
. It is about authentically telling each other your feelings in a nonthreatening way. It my not something your H is willing to do but you never know...Lately heard about a trial lawyer who talked for 45 minutes at a weekend about how he was convinced that the weekend wouldn't help at all and was he ever surprised! Then his wife got up and talked 35 minutes about how significant it was that he was relating all that. My H is a research physician and an atheist--he loves it. OK, that's all from me on that topic. 
