Glad to hear from you but sad to still know you are struggling mightily. I've said before, guilt is going to be your enemy. But don't be ashamed about your feelings. My H admitted to having some semi-suicidal feelings at his lowest too. And I'm sure he struggles with his leaving, just as you do with the EA and such. But desperate times often call for desperate measures. Lots of people need to hit rock bottom before seeing changes. And if your W is the person that you need her to be, she will understand in the long-run and work with you to heal your M. I hope that is the case for you. But you are on the right path. I think you do need to tell her exactly how you are feeling. Brutal honesty. Tell her what you need and want. Start setting those boundaries. You will both benefit in the long run.
