Chrome... I am sorry you are hurting. The emotional triggers combined with the negative self talk, leading to misery, is just the scenario Lil was painting for you in her Identity System discussion. I disagree with LFL you should get " into the action" and flirt...I think that will just increase the guilt. You need to get back to you, the essence of Chrome. There are different methods of calming down...perhaps Lil's suggestion of just quietly sitting alone and taking in all the senses around you will give you a moment of peace. And sometimes that's all you need...one moment of clarity, and you can expand to find the joy and wonder again that's in your soul. You don't " need" these other women to validate you. And I know you know that's taking the easy ( but oh so alluring) path. You have the ability to work the issues through.
Other suggestions for self soothing: pick up a book, go for a walk, take some deep breaths, look at nature, sit with your feelings til the worst is over, call a friend, talk to the twins, etc.
And whatever occurs on this trip please do not be so hard on yourself. We'll deal with whatever...you have a lot of support on this board...I am proud of you for coming here to vent.
