I didn't actually mean I would kill...ha ha ha, but I might give up a limb!!!
Nicky
"There are two types of people -- those who come into a room and say, 'Well, here I am,' and those who come in and say, 'Ah, there you are.'"
Frederick Collins
I know I'm not someone that women drool over, but going from the elephant man to "hey, that fellow's not bad" is also a huge shift for me. I'm still a huge geek most of the time when I interact with women, so I'm sure I kill most attraction quickly anyway.
Stop this. IMMEDIATELY
Positive self talk. you know this.
ex. Im a huge(literally) geek. No wonder women are so attracted to me.
Weeping to sappy songs in the car is fine. I just dont want to know about it. Please preface further posts with a BF warning so I know.
J/K. LMAO
back to sex talk <pondering>
orgasm/oxytocin/nipples/lactation is all intertwined.
its not uncommom for women to O while breast feeding. (one woman had her child taken away by child services for talking about it though...idiots. there has to be some sort of reward system for something so self robbing.)
You are a good lover. ( I can hear the snide remarks and guffaws about how I know from here.... save it... )
We allready know about your W's breast sensitivity. (either that or you are such a phenomenal lover that I need to take classes on breast massage/kissing from you. lol)
so when you and your W have sex, or she O's its going to cause all these confusing associations. As a HIGHLY sexual yet repressed female she is going to want to prevent that. She may even judge and condemn herself for it. even assume you know whats going on in her head and assume you are judging and condemning too.
What to do. First Its not about you. Dont personalize. a negative reaction will reinforce her thought that you are condeming her.
Ignore her self recriminating attempts at self denial as far as they apply to you. Its not about you. oh I said that already.
second ..figure out some ways to baby step her out of her repression. OT gave you some good general suggestions.
Me? I would laugh. Say Wow. thats awesome. Im so jealous. how big of an O do you need to hit the ceiling? tell her I need cream for my coffee. come here so I can finger bang you. etc. Buts that me.
Now you know why some lactating women are so 'touched out'. they are getting a regular flood of ocytocin and prolactin. Its normal. Let her know, you think its normal.
BTW, I only differed with you on the one topic. I enjoy your comments on the biology. Im no professor, academic or researcher, so you dont have to reference me. I still disagree with you on the unqualifiable topic. Your response was in proper debate form, but so meandering and convoluted from perspective to perspective that I had to read it several times just to figure out what you were saying. I want to continue just on principal. However Im tired, my face hurts and and I have more threads to read. So. Im right. your wrong. but I still like you he he he ha ow that hurts.
Hey, I miss posting for a couple days and I'm relegated to the 2nd page. Wow.
Sorry about not responding, I've just been down lately and didn't want to let Glob mope all over the board (mope is sticky and hard to clean up). One of the problems I have been facing recently is now that I know more about R stuff, I am more aware of the mistakes I still make due to FOO, bad habits, whatever. It gets me down sometimes.
The other thing that is really getting me down is my W's response to her O. Apparently the milk let-down is very painful for her, her breasts got really engorged and she had that all night long. She has decided that she doesn't want to O anymore until after she stops nursing. She has stated that she will just "help me" when I need it. Needless to say I am not real keen about that setup. But I can't very well ask her to put herself in pain just so I can have more satisfying sex can I? Maybe I should just wait 4 more months.
Chr-glob-ome
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
I was wondering where you were hiding. And what's this "don't want to mope all over the board", that's what we do best If nothing else you can just vent. But I understand needing to "shut it" for a while too. Ok, so you're down on yourself. But you are also aware. That's better than living in denial. You know things need to be better so now you can make it happen. What's with the "mistakes and bad habits" you mentioned? Maybe if you are specific we can give you some ideas. I know. I know, implementing them is the Hard part. But that's where the personal growth comes in. If there is one thing I have noticed about a lot of the HD men on this board that are not getting any lovin, it is that many lack assertiveness. I know you are like that too Chrome. But like I said on HD's thread, assertiveness is linked to attraction. Keep working on yourself and stop worrying about her O's and stuff. That is her decision to make. Is she using that as an excuse? Who knows. My guess is yes because it's buying her 4 more months of "freedom." She is willing to "help" you as you stated so maybe you can do that to at least keep some EC going. Still stinks though, sorry.
BALONEY! If she is getting painfully engorged she needs to pump or feed baby. It isn't the "o" that causes it but sexual stimulation does cause the breasts to fill up because the body can't differentiate between baby's touch and spouse's touch. I nursed my babies for a looooooooong time and so did most of my friends and NEVER has nursing been used as a reason not to o. This is pure fabrication. I'm sorry that she has convinced herself of such a silly thing.
As an LD breastfeeding mom... I gotta say that having milk shoot out your breasts while Oing does not give one the 'sexyness' feeling. And for one who is already LD... it isn't so easy to 'pump' before sex, especially if the milk has not let down... and I don't know that it puts one in 'the mood' either.
There is not one shred of helpful advice here... just a lot of empathy for both parties. (Chrome and Mrs. C.)
I agree that the whole let down thing during sex does take something away from the experience. However, I was referencing pumping afterward to relieve the engorgement caused by the let down during sex. It isn't easy. It isn't sexy. However, if Mrs. Chrome buys that idea that sex is important to the marriage then working around this issue is necessary. My point is that it isn't the o that makes this happen. And A LOT of compassion is necessary for Mrs. Chrome as I have certainly expressed before - the entire post partum first year is inordinately stressful and with that many little ones it is even more so.
Very funny GGB. It would be funnier if it weren't for the fact that jokes about breasts, breast milk, etc. generate very negative responses from the W. I have learned not to go there.
I apologize for the seeming setup for W bashing. It was not my intention at all to encourage anyone to think negatively about my W (not saying those who responded did, but apparently my post was perceived as pointing in that direction). Although I will admit that I do have negative thoughts and feelings toward my W from time to time, I don't intentionally try to bash her in front of anyone. If I do I hope you will all call me on it, and call me hard.
All that being said, I have been thinking that maybe the best thing to do is just have a 4 month hiatus from all R stuff. I am tired of banging my head against the rock pinata and only getting a few bits of candy out. It has affected my outlook on life a bit and I don't want that to become ingrained. After 4 months, the nursing will be over and at least that wall will be down. Perhaps there will be others, but I can view them with a fresh head.
Lil, apparently something has transpired between us. Did I say or do something that ticked you off in some way. I realize this sounds like letting a little bit of Glob out (the guy who is overly concerned about what people think about him), but I do consider you to be a friend and would hate the thought that I unintentionally did something that would cause a rift in that friendship. Or maybe there are things going on in your life and something I said rung a bell the wrong way. Talk to me, if you want.
Chrome
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
I didn't actually mean I would kill...ha ha ha, but I might give up a limb!!! 
LMAO 
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lol)